What is it?

Are you awake? Yes, because that’s what your mind is conditioned to believe in. Obviously how else are you able to read this if otherwise. This learning is exactly why dreams feel real until they break. Yet, for all human, wise and health reasons one needs to drift off once a day or the whole balance would come crumbling down. Right before sleep is about to take us away, something holds us to stay awake and be in this world for a bit longer. Ever wondered what it is? A sin we cannot go back in time and undo? A memory of a cherished moment we want to live for at least once before all connections to this life break? A knock of the conscience? An old desire that still convinces you that it is achievable still? Half forgotten names of people, books and movies that even modern internet search engines have failed to answer to? A desire to reset everything and everyone in life? A craving that collides head on with the rules of society, faith, morality and humanity? An old grudge that still burns strong? Is it the dupatta that entwined with your shirt buttons that day that you still feel exerting its pull? Is it the spell cast by an enemy? Is it the growth of the reason the coroner would put on your death certificate eventually? Is it the realization that nothing you thought is yours is really? Is it the pain that you cannot find any familiar face in the city you call home? Is it the pain that friends have all disappeared? Is it the fear of dying or living? What is it Aamir babu?